life is precious!

Today's outing with Jaz and Grace was a little sian. Sorry for spoiling the day! I just don't have the mood.
My aunt was hospitalized not long ago. This isn't an unusual thing. She has diabetes and kidney failure and she's very stubborn, always skipping her medicine and meals. As a result, she is often admitted into the hospital. But this time it's different. Her large intestine is also infected. This afternoon, she was admitted to the emergency department because her blood pressure was very low. I heard from my dad that the doctor said something like there's no cure and she might not be able to make it. My mom has been staying beside her since afternoon. It's already midnight but she's not back yet. I knew she'll be very sad. I am too.. but I think it's a relief for my aunt and her family. As they are from a poor family, they have been struggling to take care and support her. My aunt is also very pitiful. She's very thin (bony) and there are so many holes on her body due to the injections that she need everydae. She's also very weak and cannot see due to kidney failure.
Haiz... I donno why I am so sian... I thought I wouldn't be affected but now I feel a little lost. I don't want to talk about it.. I am scared... why is life so short? then why must we study and wrk since all of us have to leave this world one dae, and all our achievements will be gone to waste? I shall go to bed. I still have to job hunt tomorrow. I am kinda demoralised after thursday.. Let's hope tml will be a better day.!