I met the Serangoon Gardens drinking pals last night.
It's been a very long time since we had our last drinking session.
Aaron didn't drink this time because he's our chauffeur of the night.


We talked till 3.30am.
We talked about many many things... internships, SMU students, SMU professors, what we want to be in future, our project mates, free riders that we should try to avoid..
I became a little emotional and started tearing...


My results suck and they are really really bad...
I wonder if I will ever graduate from this university.
I hate SMU... the students and the professors.
I met a few really horrible people this semester.
Throughout my 3 years in SMU, I've only made a few friends. (less than 10?)
Friends whom I will still talk to a few years later.
So... sad...


What can I do in future?
A salesperson/ a singer/ a marketing executive/ an entrepreneur?
Im not good at anything.
I can sell things but my sales are not very impressive.
I can sing but I cannot sing well enough to cut my own album or sing at pubs/d&d.
I study marketing and is a business student but I don't have any real marketing experience.
I am not innovative and I am not very intelligent, how can I be an entrepreneur?
So... what?


I realized that I have changed ever since that day.
I became paranoid.
I became quiet.
I lose all my confidence.
I don't trust people around me.
I am more afraid of failures.
I need more care, concern and love.


I know I have many friends, but why is it that I still feel lonely and sad?