A friend emailed me this:

12 STUPID QUESTIONS ANYONE MAY ASK (Be careful not to ask these questions!!!)

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would you rather it be you?4. At a restaurant:

When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. Weoccassionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well, of coz, I haven't particularly shrunk myself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

8. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it won't. It just likes to bleed.

9. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...! ....it was a piece of chalk and nowit's in flames

10. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

11. Your friend rings u at your home number. U answer.
Either one of the 2 stupid questions will follow:

Stupid Question A: Your Friend: Oh, u're at home?
You: No this is my clone/evil twin/doppleganger speaking.

Stupid Question B: Your Friend: Hey where are you?
U: What do u think? You rang my HOME number. DUH!

12. Someone call u middle of the night and u shout at him
U: u crazy stupid bastard call at this hour!???!
Him: u crazy stupid bastard pick up phone at this hour?!!!?
U: >.<''
Him: ...



HAHA! :p