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For the past one week,
I have been busy with studying for my last paper which is International Econs and practising our performance item with my dance mates.
For that three minutes on stage... we had to put in so much effort and time.
It's never easy.
I know there's a chinese proverb for this.. but forgot le...

I gave up on my last paper on Monday,
Didn't study at all, just wrote all the sub-headings on a piece of paper so that it's easier to flip (cos it was an open-book exam)
It didn't help.
I was totally lost when I received my exam questions...
Gonecase.

No time to worry about my last paper.
I rushed down to Music Forest immediately after the last paper so that we can let Wu Jiaming teacher assess our perfomance.
The management of Music Forest, Esther and Evonne, and the dance instructor also came to watch our practice.
All gave negative comments :(
Not enough 'punch', not enough sharpness, we are not good enough, we should just do something simpler...
Depressed, disappointed, demoralised...
It seems like all our earlier efforts were wasted.

We simplified our steps...
but I wasn't feeling as confident as I did previously.
Went down every single day to practise for our performance item.

2nd assessment on Wednesday,
Zhang Fan teacher came and watch us...
More negative comments...
Haiz...
no facial expressions, don't have mo qi, no interaction with the audience, we didn't 'enjoy'...
Had a conversation with the manager,
she said our outfit was too mature but previously she nodded her head when we told her we are wearin jeans and high boots.
Stresseddd....Heartache! wasted $100 on the boots which I don't know when I can wear it.
she said something which made me very very sad.. and demoralised.
She said that when she and Xu Huan Liang selected us, they already knew we cannot make it,
so they only hope that we can perform something simple so that we can perform well.
Don't understand... if they knew we couldn't make it, then why bother hold all these auditions and select us?
Anyway as expected, none of us (the girls and the guys) will perform at Lin JunJie's party on Sunday at Expo cos we are just too lousy... in her exact words "fail fail fail".
Haiz...
Listened to the guys' Jian Jian Dan Dan, I started crying.
They thought I was upset over not being able to perform at Expo.
But it wasn't for that.
This song reminded me of him...
reminded me that he dumped me for a girl he barely know...
my Jian Jian Dan Dan de Ai Qing is no longer that simple.
But I am ok now.. :)

We had only one day(Thurs) to shop for our new outfit.
white small jacket, black top, black mini pleated skirts, black tight high socks, white shoes.
Finally got everything.
Phew!
Ermmm... met up with 9y after practice on thursday, but nothing much laa.a..

Anyway, it's finally friday, the day we were goin to perform,
Basically we were the centre of attraction cos we were in a school, SAJC...
Everyone was wearing uniform except us.
The overall performance was not bad...
But I was quite disappointed with myself.
I had everything in my head and I was quite confident I will not make any mistakes.
But noooo,
my mind went blank in the 1st minute.
I did the wrong movement, moved when I was not supposed to, and moved too fast during some parts.
But I managed to recover from the mindblock quickly and I felt I did my best during the rest of the performance.
But still.... Sorry pals for messing the front part... :(

Today... I made my best buddy angry...
Saddd... I am so stupid... I am so insensitive..
I said something which I shouldn't have...
Sigh... Sorry girl! I really didn't mean it.. will be more sensitive in future ok?
Don't be angry leee... :(